What a serious mistake I have made

Matthew Renert: 30 December 2008

I have very much abused God's promise in my life, and sent it fraudulently under the name of "faith".

What I am sure of is that, if I want something, God will give it to me freely. When I wanted a new monitor, suddenly the old one died, lied within warranty, and replaced by the manufacturer. When I wanted a new laptop, for some reason the old one just died all of a sudden, and a new one is on sale for a very good price. When I didn't have faith to make car payments, I have never lacked since the day I have purchased the vehicle.

But then here's the problem.

I have my car for 1.5 years, purchase-financed brand new for five years. It's been very tempting for me to upgrade to a more "intense" version of the car lately, which incorporates more safety features as well as many performance upgrades. Because of the current economy recession, there are very good cash incentives on the cars, and I decided to trade it in.

What is unreasonable is that I've only had the cars for less than two years, which will accumulate significant depreciation for the car (The upgrade cost subtracted the base difference of the models makes it an initial total depreciation of only 17%, which isn't TOO bad). I found the depreciation to be fairly reasonable, and I was very tempted to upgrade. But in reality, it is actually unreasonable because it is still a pretty new car, and it is not quite justifiable to trade it in.

For one thing, my parents were very much against this idea for the reasons listed above. God has provided me with that vehicle, and now I am trading it in after 1.5 years? Am I to spend money in that fashion? A voice keeps telling me that it is justified.

I walked into one dealership yesterday night, and walked out fifteen minutes later because I couldn't get a good deal. I got a good internet quote on another dealership, and so I went in and see how it goes this morning. My mom had a talk with me this morning, and agreed that, if I could make the upgrade for $8000 and a "cash" purchase financing from the dealer's affiliated bank is acceptable, then the trade in is permissible.

I walked into the dealership and was immediately impressed by the service I was provided with, unlike the one earlier. I estimated that I still owe $15750 on my car (The same they gave me for the trade, so I would not have negative equity), and began negotiating. The final upgrade cost is around $10500, which is more than the $8000 discussed earlier -- I called my mother and told her that I would make an additional $83 on my car per month (Which is true, and she agreed), but I subconsciously and secretly hid the total upgrade cost to her. This is where it starts to go wrong.

I prayed that, if God is providing me with this upgrade, that I would get around what I estimated, and that the whole family will have peace from God and happiness because of my new purchase. Unfortunately that's not the case -- when I went home, my mom sensed something was wrong, so she didn't say much throughout. I didn't sign the contract yet; I will go back later in the day with my father to get the paperwork sorted out. My father was quite unpleased with the purchase, but he signed the papers anyway. My dad asked the finance manager that, if the affiliated bank disapproves the deal, then the contract will be voided and the $500 deposit refunded.

When I came home, my father told my mother the story -- where both thought that it was ridiculous that I paid $10500 (finance) for the upgrade instead of the $8000 (cash) budget agreed earlier. Suddenly, I felt very not peaceful -- as everything suddenly became clear to me -- that I wasn't all over the new car -- and I finally came back to my senses, I knew that something went significantly wrong.

I went online to take a look at a finance calculator, and what I found out was that I was in negative equity -- meaning that I need to pay more than $1500 in cash, in addition to my previously discussed purchase. This is already way out of my budget, and what my parents were saying before was completely right. Not only that, I completely ignored God in the process and decided to go my own way because I really liked the car.

I quickly got down on my knees and prayed and repented for all my sins. This is not faith. It is going my own ways regardless of everything, and pulling God into the scene.

After prayer, God seems to have told me to research into local consumer rights laws, now I have an idea, although I didn't get a definite answer -- we'll see how it goes tomorrow.